Hearing conversations and seeing varying posts on LinkedIn over the past week leaves a bittersweet feeling in my soul.
Bitter, because so many people, predominantly black women, are hurt, burned out, scared, tired and disappointed in the people who they feel voted against their best interests. Sweet because I think this could be the wake-up call we need as a community, and because this election and the conversations leading up to and following it show us a reality that was hidden from the perceptions of most people.
This newsletter typically is all about the undercover workplace - the undercover rules, mindsets and behavior that really govern an organization (which is usually always different, and more sinister than the company's written mission, vision, and values would have you believe). I can't help but see the connection between this, and this illusion of inclusion and fairness this country projects.
If nothing else, regardless of what side of the debate you fall, you should come away with some important nuggets from this past week's election reactions:
America is, and has always been, ran very much like the corporations who've modeled their behavior and practices from it- unequal practices, toxic leadership, competitiveness, division, incompetence, and the reinforcement of a mindset of lack, which keeps people compliant and fighting for "limited" resources (pay, benefits, recognition, positions, status, etc.).
Just as the undercover workplace exists in smaller scale within organizations, the perception that we've been given on how this country is run- and by extension how the world works - is not accurate. In other words, there is a perception that we are led to believe is accurate, and then there is a reality that exists that we are constantly distracted from discovering. This is to keep us docile and compliant so that we never challenge the system, and so that we never see the hidden hand keeping us subjugated.
The divide and conquer strategy works perfectly here, just as it does in your everyday job. I would love White people, Christians and those who are financially secure (those with the most privileges in this country) to consider why you were given the perceptions of "others" that you were given. What purpose does it serve for you to think of yourselves as "better than" or separate from Black Americans, Muslims or the poor (as an example)?
If you haven't come to these conclusions as of yet, I encourage you to critically thinking about the view of the world we have been given, and the various misalignments over the decades that we've witnessed. Do things really line up? Do things make sense? Pick apart everything you've been taught to believe and really think about the purpose those beliefs (and behaviors) serve.
We are not all the same, in the eyes of this country: as much as the rhetoric of sameness is preached where it's advantageous, the reality is that this country, and the mainstream ("dominant") culture within it, does not see Black Americans as "the same". Never has. That may be too direct or harsh for some, and that's OK. We need to ground ourselves in this reality before we can effectively move forward (not that we are or are not the same; but that "dominant" culture doesn't see us as such). The term POC (people of color) does not include Black Americans- it is more of a way to distinguish us a separate from other groups, rather than a way to bring us together.
The path to healing is to first acknowledge reality.
The path to healing is to first acknowledge reality. Removing the politicians from the equation (as no politician has ever, and probably will never, support policies that secure the well-being of Black Americans)- we need to acknowledge the reality of the psychological, emotional, and mental mind states of the people who make decisions about our well-being. This can be your local policeman, your mayor, your neighbor, your babysitter, your personal trainer- anyone, regardless of color. The reality is that if change was really wanted and supported, it would have happened already.
The systems in place, the corporations, schools- all levels of societal engagement - are impacted by racist and classist systems that have been successful at employing the divide and conquer strategy that has kept us stagnant. My last article questioned the focus of common DEIBJ programs, and that fighting for resources versus liberation has kept us from achieving the freedom we seek. We're still asking systemic oppressors to help us and support us, and I think this week many are waking up to the fact that this is never going to happen.
This reality isn't just disadvantageous for Black Americans- all peoples within America are negatively impacted, but since White Americans are afforded more opportunities and resources, it may seem as if they are unaffected. The mental impact of systemic racism on White America is a different topic that we can tackle in another article.
Continuing to believe in a system that has manipulated its people will continue to wear on your mental health, and this is much of what I've observed from so many of us this past week. It's really time- regardless of your color, race, religion, sex, creed, ability or gender- for all of us to realize "we've been had".
For now, let's talk about some ways we can focus on healing ourselves, and thus our communities, in order to move forward.
Managing Your Emotional Wellness During Chaos
Believing in the story we've been sold will leave you feeling hurt, burned out, and disappointed. The truth hurts but continuing to hold onto the lie will hurt more, and last longer.
What's next then? What can we do?
First, take care of you. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings you have- but don't allow yourself to stay in that space too long. Vent to friends, journal, exercise- do whatever it takes to process and release negative emotions you may be holding onto.
Don't be distracted by things that divert you from focusing on your emotional and mental well-being and needs (for example, blue bracelets).
Boundaries: Act on the knowledge that people know what they're saying and doing against you. Ruminating on "what ifs" robs you of valuable mental space you can use to create new things and/or heal yourself. As Maya Angelou stated, "When people show you who they are the first time, believe them". Respond to actual behaviors, not intentions or suppositions.
Don't be afraid to speak your truth: Sometimes we cause ourselves mental and emotional distress by not speaking up when others wrong us. Start calling a thing, a thing- if someone microaggresses against you, call it out in the moment. Say no to meetings or gatherings where you know you'll be disrespected. When you notice those undercover behaviors from people trying to throw stones and hide their hands, call it out. Have no reservation or fear about holding people accountable for their behavior.
Build community: Let's put our differences aside to come together. Everyone has something valuable they can bring to conversation or solutioning on community building. Remove divisive beliefs on class, personality, looks, race, religion, or ability when considering befriending or connecting with someone when community building. We can't align ourselves with the same mindsets that have caused mass division and suffering in this system. Start with family and friends and expand from there. Hold community meetings or find other ways to create safe spaces for conversation and processing emotions. This processing of emotions and healing is needed and needs to happen before we can make progress in our liberation.
What else would you add? Add your ideas and suggestions to the comments. Thanks for engaging, and if you found this helpful, please be sure to like and share.
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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