While we all may face certain struggles in workplace settings, some groups of us may have unique experiences tied to how different we are from what's considered the norm.
It's common for people, especially leaders and managers, to assume that everyone in an organization is having the same experiences they are, or of those that we closely associated with. Unfortunately, this assumption can lead people to disregard or misunderstand the unique experiences people who are different have- within the same teams, departments, and organizations.
One of the unspoken rules of organizations is that differences are frowned upon, and that the fuel behind making the organizational structure and team dynamics work is conformance to the status-quo.
For those of us who find ourselves on the other side of these assumptions and unspoken rules, we can experience people and our work environments in very different ways from others. For example, the star sales leader in the organization may treat the CEO and executives with reverence but act racist or condescending toward others.
How can us "different" folks experience the average workplace? Below I list some common occurrences in workplaces I've personally experienced or have heard others experience. Keep in mind these can be common experiences for many different people, based on the norms of the organization you've worked for. For example, if you are a woman who worked in a majority male organization, you may have faced some of these challenges. If you are one of a few people of color in a space, you will have most certainly faced these (and other) challenges to your success. Being neurodivergent, mentally or physically disabled can increase the prevalence of these experiences even more.
Gatekeeping
People are often threatened by difference, and this can lead to gatekeeping behaviors. Some leaders may prevent someone they feel threatened by from making key connections within the organization. They may withhold information, control who interacts with who (and how), control project outcomes, or seek to control how others see you. Usually this is done to gain support for mistreating an individual, or to maintain a status-quo by not allowing "someone like that" into spaces and roles they have been traditionally left out of. This behavior can also be rooted in fear of what others will think ("I can't let Jim speak in front of the executives...what will they think?").
Micromanaging
Micromanaging is damaging to anyone, regardless of the intent. People of color, differently-abled, and neurodivergent individuals can be micromanaged much more frequently than the average worker. This can be due to lack of understanding of the person (by leadership or others), fear of not knowing how to manage/interact with the person, or it can be due to lack of trust. Generally, people more easily trust those who think/look/act as they do, making it much harder for those of us who are different to build rapport and trust with someone, due to their biases and fears about us. This can greatly impact of our progress within our roles and can cause us job dissatisfaction and stress. This dissatisfaction and stress can show up a myriad of different ways and can serve as an excuse or justification for mistreatment by others ("I knew they couldn't perform up to task...").
Allowing Abusive/Negative Behaviors
People perceived to be different are mistreated regularly in organizations, covertly and overtly. Managers can be aware of this, or even perpetrators of this type of behavior. As a way to build social connection and support with accepted groups (or to avoid too much attention on their own shortcomings) many people will participate in mistreating others who are different, often with no consequences. Leaders avoid dealing with these issues out of lack of skill, lack of concern, or the belief that the individual should resolve the issue themselves (although it is not their problem to solve). People are punished for being who they are, since being who they are is seen as an intentional attack and threat to the status-quo.
The belief is that since this person "chooses" to be different, it is their own fault they receive such treatment. The unspoken, assumed solution seems to be for the different person to assimilate (if they fall in line, they'll be treated better...) as opposed to holding others accountable for their negative behaviors. Interestingly, what "falling in line" means is never clearly articulated. As another undercover assumption, this can miss the awareness of someone who thinks differently, causing further abuse, assumptions, and mistreatment.
Little/No Coaching & Development
Anyone perceived to be different can struggle to find mentorship and growth opportunities. Peers and leaders often do not understand what the different individual brings to the table, and so will avoid or ignore development conversations with them. Again, this is more a lack of skill on the part of the leader, or others who cannot appreciate differences in thinking and working; however, the individual perceived to be different is once again blamed and held responsible for this uphill battle they face. The effects of stress and dissatisfaction can show here as well, and again serve as a justification for avoiding hiring/promoting people who are different.
What Can We Do Differently
A first step is in realizing that it is not up to the unique individual to dance around the biases and fears of others to be successful. Each person has a right to show up to use their skills, have access to growth opportunities, and be treated with respect regardless of who they are, without having to walk on eggshells or diminish who they are. We have to shift from the blame the victim mentality to understanding the true issues at play and holding people accountable who participate in the mistreatment (passively or actively) of people who are different in the workplace.
As we enter Black History month, discussions about corporate DEIJ programs and the like will surface, and these are great times to deepen the discussion around actual experiences of individuals in the workplace, and how these are shaped by the fears and ignorance of others. Focusing training efforts on emotional intelligence, self-awareness skills, and how to manage differences effectively are great starts. Training will need to be supplemented by accountability measures for those people who are uncoachable or continue to participate in damaging behaviors.
Here are some takeaway questions to inspire future conversations and self-reflection around this topic:
If you are a leader- how do you show up for your people of color? Differently-abled staff? Neurodivergent staff?
Does your current workplace setup take into account the needs of different people?
Do you encourage your peers and team to treat everyone with respect? Or do you justify the ostracizing of people you don't understand?
How do you respond to others who are different? Why? How do you think they experience you?
Do you hold your peers and team accountable when they behave negatively toward someone?
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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