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Are you holding your employees accountable for your potential shortcomings as a leader?
I recall a conversation with an old colleague discussing performance management processes, and he shared a story about there was once a new employee that was written up for- wait for it - asking questions.
I was very curious about this and the reasons behind it, so I probed for more information. Was the employee abrasive when asking questions? Did they ask inappropriate questions? Under what conditions is asking questions a written offense?
The answers to all of those questions was no- the employee simply asked questions about how to go about doing their job in the best way, who they could reach out to for more information, and asked for clarification on processes related to their work. The leader's defense was that the employee should "just know what to do" or figure out a way to find out on their own.
In short, the employee's questions were seen as a nuisance, versus being seen as the employee taking initiative to learn how to do things according to cultural norms and standards (which is what we want new employees to do, right?)
Let's dissect how this mindset and approach to leadership and employee development can be problematic.
Double-Speak
In most organizations (as was the case in the above scenario) new employees, or employees new to their role, are typically verbally encouraged to ask questions as they navigate things. When a leader sends mixed messages (such as "ask questions, but not those types of questions") at this early point in the relationship, it can negatively impact trust building and an employee's confidence in that leader. Creating a false image of what the company is like, but not living up to that image is often a top reason employees choose to leave a position within their first 90 days.
Be sure that the expectations and corporate image you communicate in the beginning (and always) is accurate and truly reflects the experience the employee will have on your team, and within the company.
Lack of Empathy
Being unable to see things through the eyes of another can indicate a lack of empathy, a non-negotiable leadership skill required for your employees to operate at their best. If you as a leader cannot (or chooses not to) understand how someone else thinks, what someone else may need, how someone else works, this indicates a self-awareness and self-management development opportunity for you (leader), versus being an issue with employee performance.
Again, communicating accurate expectations is crucial. If you have communicated your needs as far as how work gets completed, resources the employee needs to use, and how employees can resolve issues they face, then you are in a better position to hold employees accountable to those behaviors (if the employee has understood and agreed to these expectations- make sure to gain agreement first. This doesn't mean the employee has to agree with the set expectation, but rather they agree to perform their job duties according to the set expectations).
I have noticed that some leaders often lead with "unspoken expectations"- internal beliefs around work ethics, how to behave, and how to do things that they haven't actually verbally communicated (or provided in writing), that they secretly expect the employee to know and work by. Often, these are the expectations that leaders seek to hold employees accountable to and find themselves struggling to enforce. It's tough to enforce what hasn't been explicitly stated!
Remember, don't assume: if we are to embrace true diversity and inclusion within our teams, we need to understand that different people will have different needs, expectations, work ethics, and ways of working. I've noticed that unlearning this idea of a shared "standard" is one of the hardest parts about true integration and inclusion at work- but why?
"Wrong" vs "Different"
Tied to both having a lack of empathy and reliance on a "standard" is a lack of discernment in determining what is "wrong" (incorrect or detrimental) versus what is different (still correct and efficient, but different). Many people ascribe anything outside of their perception and ways of working as wrong, without giving consideration to if those alternate ways of thinking and doing still achieve the same desired results. There are always multiple perspectives and ways to accomplish things, and organizations can have expectations and policies in place to ensure tasks are completed in certain ways (dependent on the tasks). Before labelling an employee as noncompliant, incompetent, or labeling a way of doing things as "wrong", determine if:
the end result of the behavior/task/process is negatively impacted
the action(s) are in violation of established organizational processes, norms or policy
the action(s) or behaviors are outside of expectations that have been clearly established between leader and employee
If none of the above are true (and there are no other organizational breaches), avoid penalizing an employee for approaching things differently. Understandably, leaders may worry that, since often they are accountable for results, allowing employees to do things differently will limit their ability to support their employee organizationally. This is a legitimate concern, which can be addressed by simply seeking understanding and finding common ground with your employee.
Limiting the creativity of an employee because you don't understand their process is not a valid reason to do so. This actually backfires and creates homogeneity, groupthink and stagnation within your teams.
Here are a few questions for self-reflection and/or conversation with your peers:
How do you approach expectations with your teams? Do you expect them to think and work as you do, or do you give them room to perform tasks in correct, yet different ways from yourself?
Do you have a "wrong" vs "right" mentality as it relates to managing differences? If so, how did you form that mentality?
Do you have an accurate picture of how your employee perceives you and your ways of working? Do you care about that? Why or why not.
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Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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