In the last article, I wrote a bit about what I call "undercover" workplace culture and how the very existence of this culture is in opposition to authenticity. Having one set of stated values and behaviors and having another set of unspoken behaviors and norms can throw even the most seasoned employee for a loop. But - everyone plays the game, right? This isn't anything new, and people have accepted that this is just the way things are.
So, why talk about it? The mental health crisis we're seeing across the United States is being compounded by many things (pandemics, crime, uncertainty, etc.) as well as the stress, drama, and uncertainty within our workplaces. While we may be able to find help and support for other things causes us stress, often leaders fail to acknowledge the true nature of the environments that exist, leading to burnout, poor work performance, feeling dejected, depression, and even negative physical health effects such as headaches, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, anxiety, and other stress related illness. These are effects no one should have to deal with as a result of trying to earn a living for themselves and their families. This is the importance of talking about it- the human cost to continue as we are - is too great to not do anything.
Gaslighting and Undercover Culture
Gaslighting involves the altering of one's sense of reality- controlling what someone perceives as true or false; real or fake. In personal relationships, a manipulator will often gaslight using carefully chosen words or designing situations in order to get their target to behave or think a certain way. It works generally the same in organizations- creating policy, initiatives and programs to give the appearance of an altruistic organization with integrity, when unfortunately, many times the opposite is true. In order to get folks to do the work, to generate the funds to maintain their position or status, they must get people to believe that the work they are doing is for good. And so, gaslighting occurs.
How Do I know if My Workplace Culture is Gaslighting Us?
I am really resisting the urge to say that all organizations do- I'm sure there are upstanding business owners and leaders who understand employee needs and run their organizations accordingly. I will say though that many organizations may be unaware that their political climates or behaviors are in fact gaslighting their employees. If we're honest, we have to admit to ourselves that many of us follow script at work- going along with established protocol without much questioning of things. We trust that what we're being told is the truth, without a further thought or consideration. We unknowingly participate in gaslighting others, while supporting the undercover culture and systems within our workplaces.
While there are nuances and differences across industries and organizations, this Psychology Today article outlines some general things to look out for in your workplace. Let's connect some of these to undercover culture to paint a clearer picture:
Gossip and passive- aggressiveness: Workplace political correctness walks a fine line between passive-aggression and tactfulness. Political correctness is also a direct avenue by which gaslighting can take place. Words are used in ways to create a version of reality that may not be accurate, in the name of saving face, sparing feelings, or hiding the true state of the team or organization. In the same manner, gossip works to alter your perceptions or opinions about a worker who may be the target of bullying or ostracizing. Passive-aggression is also the means by which many are bullied and oppressed, without many people picking up on it. Think doublespeak and microaggressions.
Designing of narratives: Along the same lines as passive-aggression, the designing of narratives in the workplace works to get people believing that the stated rules and norms of behavior are actually the guiding principles (when they are not). We are told what to believe, versus being encouraged to use critical thinking and observation to confirm our reality. This connects to the "go along to get along" culture that is prevalent today. With American culture being very biased to action, we often "do" without thinking about the how, what or why of our actions.
Illusion of inclusion: Many organizations state that there is opportunity for all to learn, grow, and work to their best ability- but I bet many of you just laughed at that statement. Here again, what is stated does not align with the reality of things, which can cause confusion, disengagement and regret- especially for high performing employees who are unable to "break through" the ceiling. The ceiling you're told doesn't exist.
Denial: If you were to attempt to address any of these concerns, you'll find that many leaders and HR departments will deny there is an issue, a key trait of manipulation and gaslighting. Again, many leaders may not be intentional with their manipulation (and yet, many are...) but a lack of awareness of the connection between upholding a broken system and dealing with the effects of that system remains the central issue, along with the unwillingness of some to admit there are bad characters in leadership positions who create and maintain these systems to control power and resources.
What to Do?
Of course, it would be generalizing to say that all organizations operate in this way, but there is enough evidence (both scientific and anecdotal) that this is a very common occurrence, and one worth dissecting. As mentioned in the last article, learning to ask questions and look at the same old situations and problems from new angles is key in being able to solve problems in new, long-lasting ways. Issues such as gaslighting can only been seen by going beyond the surface, where the gaslighting and illusions occur.
Also, question things- not from a combative or defensive space, but from a space of genuine curiosity. Discovery in this way often leads to those new revelations we need to move forward. This is hard to do in today's culture and takes a level of courage to carry out.
It's time to ask ourselves- how committed are we really to creating change? Are we willing to be uncomfortable? Are we willing to rock the proverbial boat? Or is there too much a stake?
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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