Organizational defensive routines are the behaviors and policies [spoken and unspoken] that prevent people from experiencing embarrassment or threat (Argyris, 1990). While we may not have known this phenomenon by this terminology, I'm certain you have experienced the effects at some point in your career, especially if you work in corporate America. Have you ever:
...experienced a manager or other organizational leader communicate using vague and indirect language?
...spent more time trying to figure out how to say or communicate something, versus solving them problem presented by this "something"?
...experienced hearing of a decision you know is bad, but realizing you could say nothing about it?
...avoided a person or situation to avoid the feelings attached to dealing with the issues at hand?
.....undermined (or witnessed someone else undermine) someone to save face for yourself, someone else, or another team?
If so, you have seen first-hand how defensive routines in organizations work, and also understand how difficult it is to uncover these behaviors in a way that doesn't threaten your position.
Defensive routines, and their pervasiveness, are the reasons why organizations often act completely contrary to their stated values and beliefs. The adverseness to threat and embarrassment are guiding factors- but why?
How Narcissism Ties In
If you have followed my content for any length of time, you'll realize that my perspectives and unconventional and focus on bringing what is unsaid to light. So, if you are sensitive to this type of information, stop reading now (I still appreciate you though).
For the rest of us "troublemakers", here's my synopsis:
As noted above, defensive routines are rooted in a deep fear of embarrassment and threat.
One of the most prominent traits of people who have narcissistic traits, or actual narcissists, is their deep intolerance for embarrassment, shame and threat. While someone who is not narcissistic may have negative feelings toward shame and threats, narcissists and people with narcissistic traits will react unusually strongly, from verbal abuse, physical abuse, defensiveness beyond the normal, and overt manipulative techniques. Since many of these things are deemed unacceptable in a public setting (such as a workplace) narcissists have developed ways of discharging those feelings of shame and protecting themselves from perceived threats which fly under the radar and preserve their facade- all while still emotionally regulating their system:
Gaslighting
Intentional ambiguity/dishonesty
Perception management techniques
Doublespeak
Political savvy (knowing what to say, how and to whom....can be similar to gaslighting in some cases)
...and many others....
The development of office politics and the rule of unspoken rules are direct results of these types of behaviors festering in the workplace, now becoming an accepted part of workplace life. The pervasiveness of this exists because the rest of us are not aware of the alternate purpose for these behaviors, or perhaps we are, but feel trapped and unable to say what we feel, without fear of repercussions.
Can we see how this is similar to narcissistic abuse?
We keep ourselves in cycles of self-censorship, people-pleasing (knowingly and unknowingly), indecision, uncertainty, and doubt to appease "something" to maintain the peace. In narcissistic abuse, the victim is very much in the same position- needing to behave and be as the narcissists needs warrant- and any deviation from that evokes feelings of threat (and/or shame) which triggers the negative behaviors the victim dances around to avoid being hurt. Have you ever:
held back the truth to "keep the peace"?
just "did as you were told", even if unethical or unproductive, to avoid any backlash you felt could happen to you?
went along to get along, even if against your own personal values and beliefs?
These behaviors that I'm sure many of us have faced at work indicate an unhealthy, abusive environment.
It's time for us to open this discussion about our current workplace structures, the increased instances of mental, emotional and physical health breakdowns of people in the workspace, and how this all ties into what I describe above. We can create all of the wellness programs we want, but until the actual structure that is causing the need for these programs is examined and redesigned, we'll be risking parts of ourselves each time we turn on the laptop or step into the office.
What have been your experiences with defensive routines? Have noticed these patterns of behavior in your workplace?
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
Comments