Recently, I found myself thinking about my work experiences over the last 25 years, and reflecting on the things I have learned, and the things that would have been very helpful to know as a younger professional.
I also reflected on why many older people have the expectation that younger people should just "figure it out" or are otherwise not driven to set up the young folks for success- which leads to strained relationships, misconceptions, and other issues between generations in the workplace.
So, in this article, I'll try to outline a few things to discuss with your teen or young adult when discussing how to remain authentic, have success, and maintain mental and emotional health in the workplace. These are generalized; there may be nuances across industries and job roles:
Nobody at work is your friend: I'll start simple- the workplace is a place of competition for status and resources. Within the workplace, alliances are built in order to make work more enjoyable, accomplish certain tasks, or for power/control reasons. Should you find yourself on the wrong side of this (being part of a group that lacks social power/status for example) your perceived friendships are contingent upon you staying in your place. Should you move up, or down in status or power ranking, you'll quickly see why no one is actually your friend (unless they move up or down with you.)
Tied to the last point: Keep your personal life separate from your work life. Don't mingle your work friends with your outside friends or family and keep conversation about what you're into outside of work to a bare minimum with coworkers. Anything you say can and will be used against you later.
You're expendable (to companies): The best way to look at this is to not put all of your eggs in one basket. Company priorities shift on a whim, which could leave you without employment due to no fault of your own. Never be paranoid about this; but always have plan B and C ready to go when/if needed. For as much as a company will say they "value you", they ultimately only value what they can get from you as it benefits their bottom line. They will not care about much else (they will tell you this, but it is smoke and mirrors).
Don't allow others' perceptions to limit you: Many people operate from a lack and scarcity mindset and will project their limitations and fears onto you. Don't limit yourself based on what others feel you can or cannot do. This is a sneaky way people attempt to keep you at their level to maintain their comfort. Your life has purpose, and maintaining their comfort isn't it. Go out and be bold and do things no one ever thought you could.
People are manipulative: Many people fall into the trap of thinking they can't be manipulated, or that people "like" them so they don't have to worry about being bullied or manipulated. Don't allow yourself to be used by manipulative people to exploit, bully or harm others in the workplace. Avoid gossip or listening to gossip; those same people will be gossiping about you to other people. When it comes to supervisors and managers, they can be very manipulative in order to control your behavior and outcomes.
If a leader or organization is not invested in your growth and development, do not make that job your priority. Your goal should be to move onto a position that will contribute positively to your goals, provide opportunities for growth and learning, and support your path- whatever that may be.
Don't assume that because others are older than you, that they know more than you: Even at such a young age, you have so much knowledge and so many skills to contribute to a workplace. There are many older people who will be jealous/envious of you because of your youth and abilities. These are the folks that may try to manipulate or undermine you. Always respect others who respect you, but do not tolerate mistreatment from others simply because they are older or have status.
What else would you add? I would love for the comments to become a thread that young folks (and maybe us too) can refer to and learn from. Add your wisdom to the comments!
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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