(Disclaimer: There are many variations within the neurodivergent community and many neurodivergent people may face other physical or psychological disabilities that further inhibit their ability to thrive- so I don't want to take anything away from or minimize those experiences in any way. My initial thoughts in this article came from the general perception that society punishes those different from what has been normalized, and that is what this article is referring to. I will write future articles for awareness purposes that dive deeper into the complexities of neurodivergent experiences.)
As I continue my learning about neurodivergence and how this relates to my past and current experiences, I've noticed a consistent pattern - the emphasis on what are perceived to be negative attributes of neuro-divergence and a focus on "fixing" neurodivergent people. This can cause many people within the neurodivergent community to develop anxiety, depression, and other conditions thought to just "naturally" coexist with neurodivergence, without considering the circumstances neuro-divergent people deal with living in a world that doesn't value or understand them.
The prejudice that neurodivergent people may face is what disables them in our society- nothing inherent about who they are or how they socialize is "wrong", but these common beliefs are the main reason neurodivergent people experience social issues and can be direct contributors to the anxiety and depression common within our community.
So, last year I thought- what if I (as a neurodivergent person) analyzed a neurotypical person based on my perceptions and experiences with them?
The image shown is a shift on the paradigm- a flipping of the coin, so-to-speak. As a neurodivergent person, this is how I've experienced many neurotypical people throughout my life. Should I also judge them as disabled, incompetent or flawed, based on the behaviors they display? The infographic is not meant to be offensive; it is a shift of the narrative that often happens when society labels people as different. For example, an article that describes introverts using negative characteristics and connotations, a pamphlet that describes some challenges of an autistic person (without also sharing strengths), or diagnostic criteria that pathologize normal human variations.
Neurodivergent people are constantly being labeled and judged by people who have no experience and at best little understanding of how we experience the world. Outdated science and research around neurodivergence are based on the limited perspectives of those (usually neurotypical people) who completed the research. The beautiful thing is that nowadays, many neurodivergent psychologists, PhD's and researchers are now challenging these old paradigms and presenting information that supports and affirms the experiences of neurodivergent people in positive ways, or least with a sense of balance that rejects the notion that neurodivergent people are "wrong" or "defective".
What if we judged neurotypical people according to the infographic above? What if I labeled every neurotypical person I meet as defective, immature, passive-aggressive, and incapable of basic human connection and interaction without subtext? Would this be a fair judgement? If you answer no to this, then it's time to reconsider perspectives on neurodivergence (and other different and differently-abled groups too) and how they relate to our collective understanding of what it means to be "normal".
Having your very existence constantly challenged and negated is not a positive experience and contributes to the social difficulties neurodivergent people experience- not internal defectiveness or hatred of others. Trying to navigate a world of subtext, consistent traps, negativity, and dismissal of your gifts leaves many of us with a negative impression of what's considered "normal" and what's required to fit in.
What Now?
I'm super excited about the many creators and researchers now sharing their experiences and bringing more attention to the ways society makes it hard to be different- without them I may have never discovered my own neurodivergence!
Given that I normally post about workplace culture, I'll add that being neurodivergent in the workplace can be rough, in many different ways. Some days include suffering from information overload, other days you may be chronically under-stimulated. You may encounter social issues like bullying, isolation, or having others question your credibility. No two people have the exact same experiences, and no two people experience the world in the exact same way, neurodivergent or not. Making space for normal human variation in our work, and our lives, can open us up to new relationships and experiences that enhance our lives in many ways.
Some thoughts to consider:
If you are neurotypical (not neurodivergent), I challenge you to do what you may ask of neurodivergent others and step outside of your comfort zone to understand us, from our perspective instead of your own, and find ways to be accepting and accommodating to the needs of others.
In many cases, you may not be aware someone is neurodivergent- you may just feel that someone is different in some way. Try not to prejudge or assign negative intent to behaviors or communication styles you don't understand. Be curious- respectfully ask questions and find out more about how you can communicate best with people different from you.
If you are neurodivergent, I encourage you to embrace your gifts and differences, and find the courage to let others into your world. It can be tough based on the rejection and trauma many of us face, but there are people who see us in our entirety and will respect and support us as they do others.
Keep the conversation going- what other thoughts would you add? Leave your questions, thoughts, and comments.
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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