Most of us have had at least one in our career: the manager who is in the role simply because they were Joe Smith, CEO's first cousin or best friend, and who otherwise has no background or experience in either leadership or the technical skills of the roles they lead. Or, you may have someone who is an excellent individual contributor promoted to a leadership role and given absolutely zero training or guidance on how to actually lead and influence people.
Or there may be the person who may have a leadership background or some level of education, who finds themselves leading in a completely different field and are technically clueless as to how to lead their people in their work (think former therapist who is now an engineering director…somehow).
It's hard to lump all "accidental leaders" into one category, since some may have positive characteristics that still allow for positive impact on their teams; then there are others who are open and willing to grow and learn within their role. It's important that, if you find you have a struggling accidental leader, to give them grace if they are showing a willingness to grow and learn. There have been many people who stumbled into leadership who grew to be excellent leaders, so being an accidental leader isn't inherently a bad thing. This article focuses more on the "accidental" leader who:
Currently, and may not have ever, had a passion for leading and developing others
Are only in their role for status and/or financial gain
Are in their role as a result of nepotism, or feeling of obligation (for example, running a family business)
Is a great individual contributor, but unskilled (and unwilling to become skilled) in leadership
Has poor emotional intelligence and/or believes managing people is not part of their function/role as a manager ("I don't have time to babysit...")
Has a preference for managing things vs people (not a bad trait; it's just misaligned with being a people leader)
How Accidental Leaders Can Impact Their Teams
When any of the above reasons are central to a leader's purpose, the people they "lead" will never be a primary focus. If your organization places more value on data and results (as many do) these managers will often times go undetected, since they can perform the technical aspects of their role well. What you will notice though is a lack of morale, poor group dynamics, poor decision-making, and multiple inefficiencies (that negate or severely impact any perceived positive results).
Accidental leaders tend to focus more on appearances rather than actualities, which can make them appear successful at the expense of the people who report to them - who are really the ones keeping things afloat. This can lead to problems going undetected for months or even years, leading to loss of talent, process breakdowns, or the inevitable crash and burn.
Let's break down what may really be going on below the surface with these types of leaders:
They are rooted in fear: Often, these types of managers are aware of their shortcomings, and, instead of working toward building their skillset, use their energy to manipulate others into believing they are capable leaders. The old "fake it 'til you make it" mantra rings true for these managers. While I can understand (but do not endorse) faking confidence until it happens, a key part of it becoming a reality is putting in the work to learn from mistakes, being accountable, and being willing to learn from others. This last part is what accidental leaders tend to forget.
Old paradigms on leadership: "Never show your weaknesses" and similar adages keep leaders from being authentic. They create an image of power and influence they feel they need to be effective in leading others. The problem is that most people can see through that image, which causes the accidental leader to double down on antics and manipulation to coerce their employees to follow their lead, unwillingly. This can stifle creativity, progress, and create roadblocks and bottlenecks in the work of the team. The manager often is either unaware of this, or aware and strategically shifts the focus away from the problems that need to be solved, and onto any perceived wins they have achieved.
Lack of accountability: We can all agree that relationships are the key drivers of success in organizations, especially the higher up you go. People (of all kinds) tend to see others they view as friends or close colleagues in a different, more forgiving way than they do others they are less connected to. This leads to some managers getting away with questionable behavior and decisions that others would be held accountable for. While their relationships and perhaps their reputation remain intact, many things around them fall apart, and are only held together by the beliefs of the group, and the drive to do the best with what they have.
Keeping Yourself Grounded
If you find yourself working for a manager who doesn't prioritize leading and growing their people, try not to take their behaviors personally. These types of leaders can be very self-focused, more concerned about their reputation and upward mobility than with people. While some of their behaviors can feel targeted (especially if this leader happens to be intimidated by your skills and success), keep in mind that they are routed in the above-discussed phenomena- fear, accountability, and old paradigms.
Organizational change happens slowly (if at all) and leaving isn’t always an available option- so the best thing to do is to learn how to manage your emotional and mental health in chaotic situations. Learning these skills will help you in any environment to stay centered and goal focused. Here are a few tips:
Communicate very clearly with your manager and be sure to keep a record of your conversations. State very clearly what it is you need from them, along with sharing the “why”.
Hold them accountable for poor behavior. Clearly communicate (preferably with little to no emotion, but also allow yourself to be human) the observed behavior, the impact, and what needs to happen to move forward productively.
Don’t take anything personally. Your manager is possibly dealing with pressures from their manager, team, or they are attempting to compensate for perceived inadequacies within themselves. Observe, don’t absorb! Also, avoid judging. I know, that’s really hard to do in this situation, but doing it does nothing for you, aside from making you resentful. Give your manager space to be exactly who they are, while maintaining healthy boundaries and communication.
Offer suggestions when appropriate on how work can be more productive. If your manager is insecure or doesn’t appreciate the feedback, let it go. That may be tough, especially when their decisions can make things harder for you. Refer to the second point, and clearly communicate the impacts on you and your work while offering suggestions for improvements.
If there are other trustworthy leaders in the department or organization you can solicit feedback from, this can be a good way to learn more about the “why” behind your manager’s decisions and behaviors, and you potentially may get the support of your manager’s peers in helping them develop and grow. Avoid going about this in a “tattle-tell” way, as you’ll be perceived negatively, and may make matters worse.
Have you ever worked for an “accidental” leader? What were your experiences? Add your thoughts to the conversation below!
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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