In today’s world, instead of being places of inspiration and collaboration, many workplaces have become very political, full of psychological and emotional abuse. Unless you’ve been insanely lucky in your career, you have most likely worked for and/or with someone who was toxic to your well-being, and to the workplace environment. Prolonged exposure to such environments can have a range of negative impacts on your health- psychologically, emotionally, and physically.
Most of us have heard the saying that there are two cultures active in the workplace- the espoused culture that everyone speaks of and identifies with, and the under-culture of how things truly operate.
In the midst of all of this, victims are potentially suffering daily at the hands of manipulative personalities. All too often, victims seek the help of human resources departments or leaders within their organizations, only to find that human resource leaders are unprepared, unwilling and/or untrained in dealing with such issues. Also, their focus tends to be on legality and protecting the organization from lawsuits- not the psychological or emotional health of the organization or people in it.
If this is the current condition of our workplaces, how do we begin making progress?
There are some overall things we must accept about our current reality before we are able to move forward with identifying solid solutions:
Here in the U.S., we are generally a conflict - avoidant society, due to norms around political correctness and organizational politics. Therefore, we are unable to talk about pressing issues in whole or in part, due to the fear of being uncomfortable, hurting feelings, or not knowing what to expect.
Most people live and work with a degree of fear of others. This deeply rooted fear is a barrier to being able to really dig deep to the root of our issues in the workplace.
There are character disturbed people within our working environments- all of them. Yours, too. If, for the sake of nicety and political correctness we continue to ignore this fact, all training, policy, and efforts to revamp culture will fail. To add complexity to this, many of these individuals are in leadership positions.
Many leaders are ill-equipped to deal with common employee relations issues, let alone deeper, systemic issues. This puts leaders in precarious positions to even been manipulated and abused themselves, which of course does not lend itself to being able to provide support for their employees.
Human Resources departments are structured for the protection of the organization and the status-quo within it. If bullying and manipulative behavior are status quo, this is what will be maintained. Anyone working against this status-quo will be eventually removed from the organization. In other words, speaking out against negative behaviors puts whistleblowers in positions to lose their jobs, versus punishing the actual offenders. We cannot effectively handle the problem of manipulative characters and poor culture if the ones perpetuating it are being protected.
What Can We Do?
The way that we can all move forward in finally developing true solutions is to build a similar awareness and acknowledge what is really happening. Think about our personal relationships for a second. If you have a best friend that is in an abusive relationship, but he/she/they make excuses for their partner, thinks the abuse is normal, or is blissfully ignorant of the emotional damage being endured, it will be very hard for your friend to “see” the issues as issues, and in turn begin to do anything effective about them. The same is true within organizations; until we're able to acknowledge things as they are (not what they are espoused to be), we cannot possibly begin to identify root causes of issues, which means we will fall short of developing lasting solutions every time.
We can no longer continue to have the mindset that people can spontaneously leave all of who they are at home when they step into an organization. All of the traumas, behaviors, mindsets, and experiences someone carries with them show up in some way on the job, whether intentional or not. Additionally, we cannot ignore the influence of society on how we behave in social settings.
Organizations are social settings, and the same unspoken rules that applied on the schoolyard oddly enough still play a role in the workplace. The disconnect between what organizations state they stand for and the actual behavior that goes on within their walls needs to be called out and done so in such a way that forces accountability and transparency across all levels.
It takes a certain amount of courage and fortitude to be able to speak truth without fearing social repercussions, and this is a part of why things remain largely unchanged, even when we all know change is needed.
That being said, what are some relatively safe ways we can improve social, emotional, and psychological health in your workplace?
Try introducing the concept of psychological safety into your workplace. The principles that underpin the concept naturally align with behaviors required to build socially and psychologically safe workplaces. Gaining alignment here can help highlight negative behaviors and attitudes, which will then allow them to be managed appropriately.
Lead by example: people who behave in manipulative or dishonest ways tend to be very uncomfortable and irritated with people who truly "walk the walk". Many will be influenced by you and may begin to shift their own behaviors, if not only due to their own guilt (initially).
Speak up when processes or procedures don't align with stated values: Point out inconsistencies by using real examples you've come across. Tie those inconsistencies to negative consequences for the business and suggest one or two changes that can be made for better results. This comes off as proactive, rather than simply complaining, and may help influence decision-making processes by influencing how people think about work.
What other suggestions do you have? What has worked well in your organization?
Leave your thoughts, suggestions, and tips in the comments!
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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