I was on the fence about skipping this week's article, partially because I've been M.I.A. for about a month or so, from being both underwhelmed and overwhelmed with the amount of discourse around workplace (and societal) conditions, and the overwhelm simply from the sheer amount of content- videos, comments, posts, articles and the like about various opinions and beliefs (much like this series, right?) about what's happening in our world right now.
The underwhelm also feels somewhat tied to the divisive rhetoric- the power struggles, who's right, who's wrong, who needs to change, misunderstandings, and the same old, same old path to nowhere much of these battles lead us to.
This led me to start thinking about differences and how differences (and a lack of respect for the existence of differences) is more the battle that people fight, versus the idea that equity, peace, and stability can actually be achieved despite differences. Here's my question:
Are movements for equity and inclusion really about power, resources, and control? Should they be?
What are the mindsets that get us to a point of needing these movements in the first place? For example, more and more people are speaking out about their experiences with workplace abuse, bullying, and discrimination, and these seem to be much more common than previously thought. Is this goal then to:
Flip the script on the bullies by demonizing them and treating them similarly to how they've treated others?
Placate the bullies just enough to make working with them survivable with the least amount of damage?
Gaslight ourselves into thinking there is more we can do to stop their behavior (as opposed to holding them accountable)?
These are questions that don't often come up in conversations about equity and the many other social issues our world faces. My guess is that these are too hard to answer or hit too close to home in threatening the small sense of normalcy we've fought to develop in this crazy world- which is understandable. No one is an island, and no one person will have all of the answers. This underscores our need, more than ever now, to come together and decide what type of society we want to live in.
There is an acknowledgment of accountability that we all need to make in our upholding of the systems some of us are fighting to dismantle:
When we fall into patterns of treating people better because they dress a certain way, speak a certain way, or are affiliated with a certain group, we participate in the marginalization of others
When we decide there is "one" way to be, which is right, we marginalize all others who do not align with that way.
When we force our beliefs onto others, we deny them the autonomy to exist as they are
When we attempt to shame or belittle others whose life path doesn't follow the college-marriage-home-kids-retire model, we are victim-blaming and diminishing the lived experiences of others (well...if you had just done things the "right" way, you may not have struggled). Shaming single mothers comes to mind on this one, as an example.
When we teach our kids to "play to win" and "win at all costs" naturally the outcome will be their success at the expense of others. Encouraging others to play the game is complicity in the effects that the game produces- intentionally or unintentionally.
I could go on- but the main point of all of this is-- let's not continue to be distracted by the surface level differences. Let's not continue to diminish ourselves by behaving like the oppressive mindsets that created our current reality.
Think about the above questions and scenarios, and think about how you, your coworkers, friends, family, and others can think differently about how to interact with and treat others different from us.
We could make a significant change in our social environment, just by addressing these 5 bullet points I've listed. Sure, there are larger, politically systemic things we need to conquer, but first let's address and fix what is in our control- and unite.
Hi! I'm Nicole, an organizational consultant and personal coach, who is passionate about inspiring the changes our society needs for all to thrive. Using lessons learned from my own experiences and challenges, I hope to help people within organizations by creating mentally, socially, and emotionally healthy workplaces for all. Check out the other resources on this site for more ways to do just that!
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